What should be an ideal age gap between kids, how much difference is between your kids, is it ok to have 2 or 3 babies back to back?!
A huge question for moms/parents in today’s day and age.
Have you thought about this a decade ago the answer, the circumstances, the thinking was completely different.
For starters most of our parents used to live in joint families. Having kids in 1 year gap was pretty normal as there were many people to look after the kids, having more than 2 kids was very normal.
But times have changed and so has the current situation for many of us.
Most of those millennial kids left their home in search of better opportunity and hence were forced or choose to settle in a nuclear setup. No doubt it gives us some level of freedom to live life on our own but it does come with its own challenges.
Hence what we are discussing today.
I have seen a huge shift in people from wanting just 1 kid to wanting 2-3 kids. As nuclear family setup has made 1 kid feel very alone.
It’s a very debatable topic. Let me share my views.
⚫Ideally 3 years plus gap should be there. My kids are 5 years apart and it’s ideal for me. By 3 years most of the kids are independent. They can do simple chores like eating, changing clothes, potty on their own and require minimal effort.
⚫Make sure you are ready, not society wise, not after anybody pressure, not for the sake of giving your child a sibling but you should feel like having another child. It’s so important because if you are not doing it for your own you may regret later because having a child again means to go through 2-3 years of small baby things which can be a lot.
⚫Consider finances as raising a child in today’s time and age is very expensive (this is most important). Consider diapers, clothes, toys, books, education, extra activity..etc these expenses are increasing with every passing year.
⚫Are both partners ok with having another child. Well to be honest any partner can be more inclined than the other. For men it’s easier to say ‘hey, let’s have another baby’ but really I feel atleast 70% of it comes on the mom from being pregnant and talking care of baby for atleast 1 year after birth. Not to mention the emotional ups and downs. So when you decide do make sure it’s what you both want and are ready to share responsibility.
⚫Is there time for another child( specially in case of working couple). So you have a child and you have a settled life. Bringing another child mean unsettling again. Late night feeds, no sleep, no routine, no date night(atleast for a while), you random plans. So much changes after a baby.
⚫If you are a certain age where having a baby naturally puts a strain on your body and mind, a lot would be needed to consider for a second baby.
Pin it here for later😃
Seems some valid points??
Leave a ✋ in comments if you agree. Want to add anything ?? Leave a comment.
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I and my brother are 8 years apart. I just feel like it worked well for us. But took a toll on my mom. Mellinail parents can’t be as patient as our own parents. Your blog is so well-written!
You are absolutely right ma’am. My both the daughters has an age gap of 5 years. There is so much of positive effects of this. Elder one is extremely responsible and treats her younger sibling like her own daughter.
That’s great. My kids are 5 yr apart too.
The age gap btwn both by kids is 3 yrs and i think its perfect coz now they r ages 4 and 7 and make perfect partner to play n enjoy with….
Completely agree to your views in this article. My kids are at a gap of 3+ years and I feel they are growing up just the way I imagined..
Yes, even I believe that 3 yrs and so on age gap is perfect.
This is a great article Avin. It definitely makes sense to read through and ponder over the points you mentioned. And like you said, it is totally the final call of parents and one should not give into the societal pressure.
There is no ideal or specific age gap, according to me at least. As and when you both agree to have a second child, it is good to go. However, one should also consider the age of the elder one… after all, the elder child should never feel neglected. 🙂
Thankyou Samidha for putting across your honest opinion!
I totally agree with the points you’ve given! It becomes very difficult for parents, specially mother’s to handle both small kids together 😅
Thanks dear. Hope this article helped you 😊
Nice articulation, how many kids to have or not to have or and when to have it entirely parents choice but sad part is society interferes too much.
It’s true, our society has given us those set ‘rules’ slowly and steadily they are being questioned and broken ☺️
Agree with your tips. Being in a nuclear family each couple want to have kids 😊 at least two but it is really difficult to manage single handly.
True, to each their own. Ultimately it’s a personal decision.
You described the topic very well and tips are really helpful
Thanks a lot for stopping by!
My kids are also 5+ years apart. I wanted to wait till I felt that my daughter would be able to accept a sibling and could handle some things on her own. And it turned out to be the right decision.
My kids are 5 yr apart too.
You have articulated it so well!
Thanks so much!